Dear Sir,
I caught my husband cheating with a co-worker, after he had denied it for over a year and repeatedly called me crazy for “seeing something that wasn’t there.” I feel hurt, betrayed and hurt. I alternate between wanting nothing more to do with him and feeling desperate to fix this. But if he was able to lie to my face for months, and suggest I was the crazy one for suspecting him, is there any chance this can be fixed?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
When you’ve been hurt, lied to and humiliated in such spectacular fashion, it’s an understandable impulse to want to rewrite the ending. Common, too - there’s a reason that crawling back to naughty exes has become a cliché. People crave that new ending. “He really loves me”……”losing me finally woke her up”…” I make him want to be a better person.” On (very) rare occasions the rewrite is true, which make it even more tempting; who doesn’t want to be special? Problem is, what you had was someone who used your love as an opportunity to get double the romantic attention- the risk of discovery adding a dash of adventure- and who exploited your preference for a happy ending to buy him extra duplicitous months. It’s absolutely not your fault – unless you go back for seconds. There’s nothing here to fix but your peace of mind, and only distance from him will do that.
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