NUDE PHOTO

Dear Sir,

I am a 17- year old with a big problem. On Christmas Eve, I spent the night with my boyfriend, who is 24 years old. We were supposed to go out, but he was running late and I went to his house to wait until he was ready. We ended up having sex and stay there talking until it was almost day clean. It was not the first time for either of us and I guess I knew it was going to happen. He spent Christmas day with me and my family and is seemed the relationship was up another level, but it did not last. One week later, on old year’s night, he lent me his laptop to send out some emails and when I was finished, I started looking at his pictures. I was shocked to see a picture of a naked girl. This is not something he downloaded from the internet (like porn). This was a picture of a real person who I knew- a girl who he had told me was his cousin. In addition, she was posing on his bed- on the same sheet I was sitting on at the time. I was very, very upset and more so when I confronted him and he tried to turn the whole thing on me. He said I had no right to view his photos. He admitted that the girl was not his cousin but refuse to say anything else about it. I am still sad about the whole issue and we are barely speaking. By the way we were supposed to be together again on old year’s night but I told him I was too upset. I thought he would have tried to comfort me and get me to change my mind but he just left and did not called until the night of January 2^nd. From then to today we have spoken twice and both times ended with a fight. I still love him, but don’t feel I can trust him. What should I say?

Sad  

Dear Sad,

Your boyfriend has flunked every test. You knew he had a past, but not that it was still a part of his present. Some men are into taking nude photos of their girlfriends, but they rarely, if ever, leave them where the current girlfriend can find them. Your boyfriend should have deleted that photo before lending you his laptop. Most people are curious and would take a peek at photos. I am sure who would have view yours if it was the other way around. However, the fact that he lied, refuses and that his bed linen was the same as in the photo, points to the relationship with the poser being current. It would almost impossible for you to trust him again and what is worst is that he tried to blame you for viewing the photo. I would suggest that you leave your boyfriend to his “cousin”; chalk this walk up to a bad experience and move on. Given his attitude it doesn’t seem like it’s going to get any better